Men and Women: Are Their Thoughts And Desires The Same or Different?

Scream

Our past was acutely aware of the differences between men and women, and acted accordingly to the detriment of women. There was a delay in granting voting rights to women because the thinking at that time was that it will divide the family headed by a man. Almost parallel to that extreme, modern day liberated souls vociferously air that women are not different and have the same sexual desires as men. 


The fact, however, is that men and women think differently. Also, these differences are nothing but hormone guided - unless modified by 'environment', of course. It is testosterone related; men have much more of it and women have it relatively less.  

The effect of that precious hormone can be clearly seen by observing our canine friends. If a dog is not in season, he doesn't bother about the bitches and goes on with his life. But when in season (high testosterone) he even fights with other dogs to get her. Similarly, the high testosterone level that is perennially present in man's blood gives him a boner in the morning (morning wood) with an early hormonal spike, and makes him see women as potential sex partner, later.  

It's clear that he has to be taught to control those desires. The instilled fears of his family, society, law and God make him control those desires, and turn him into a decent human being. That is why they talk in terms of upbringing; and that the boys should be taught how to respect the girls. But then, it only makes them not do anything against her wish. It does not stop them from desiring her and being extra nice to her. That desire isn't quite curtailed by age, as not studs but even older poets have said, 'life is beautiful and worth living because of women'. Its, therefore, difficult for men to purely be friends with the opposite gender. In fact, a study showed that women were purely being friends with men and at times did not even like them, but men on the other hand wanted them and even thought that they were liked. Typical!

Muslima

Women, however, aren't without desires. They have desires for chat, dress, jewellery, cosmetics, attention etc. This is why you get hijab donning Muslimas, not shying away from cosmetics and beautifying their eyebrows. Almost parallel to him desiring young, her attraction instinct denies her airing her age, too. Yes women are very much interested in men's personality and dress; yet almost like a half hearted desire without an end point sexual attraction isn't quite there. Yes beauty tempts every being and women aren't an exception, but then, there is a dearth of good looking men out there! So the fairer sex has to settle for a second preference/instinct - one who makes her a princes. However, unless geared towards union, even a handsome man may just be like a beautiful yet neutral structure e.g. sculpture, setting sun - that don't invoke sexual desire. 

It is, thus, easy for women to be friends with men, but like it is hard for men to lower their gaze from women, it is equally hard for women to lower their gaze from jewellery, cosmetics, dress etc.  Surprisingly, however, despite that women mistakenly believe that men feel the same way as they do and if not, they feel men should i.e. just be friends.  

Masculine desire isn't innocent:

When the male desire is within the law, catwalks - fashion industries- glossy magazines and Hollywood (where nude scenes are called bold) make billions.When privacy is added porn industry crosses trillions of dollars. And when liberals are added, only children save the world of decency. Strangely, it's the children who make legal prostitution futile. 

Out of those fears noted above, the first 3 can be cheated but not the 4th. Relying on those 3 alone, a good hearted atheist would argue 'God isn't essential'. But irrespective of its existence, God's fear seems to have some merit amongst believers (and globally they are much more!). During riots and city power cuts, however, the three just vanish and rape statistics skyrockets. And, as if 'all is fair in war and love', all four vanish during war, and rape is done with impunity. It even works as a battle strategy. It would be cruel and even insane to say that men are like that; for they are not. Most men are cultured and respectful to women. But then, in the light of the above, woman inviting and being alone with a man, and then boozing together isn't a good idea. While her invitation for friendship could be seen as 'she fancies me', his boozing could judge her 'asking for it' and the added privacy could trigger the suppression of all four fears.

It's not that women don't have sexual desires or don't enjoy sex. Of course they do! Some are even addicted to it, sex toys and porn. Some even make their way to Ibiza for sex. It's just that those thoughts do not come primarily, unless the mind is already modified by external factors e.g. slogans, magazines, porn, toys etc. Some women consciously use those to stimulate themselves before an occasion. The fact is that, even if the genital is stimulated, it is all in the woman's mind that decides to feel the joy or not. If it shows green light, even prostitutes can enjoy sex. If not, even a loving wife will think of 'more pressing things', when at it. It's almost like having an operation under hypnosis. On the other hand, almost suggesting a mind body split, a test found wet vagina despite a dislike of the man in her front.  

Sex is a joy for both but sex is not just sex, as claimed. While man can feel a la Casanova, woman can easily feel 'why did I do it?', as an after effect. In balance, while the risk of pregnancy, self worth and 'slut' haunts them, men's beauty (or lack of it) isn't much of an incentive either. (see below)  

Peacock

Yes, male species is almost always the gorgeous looking in the animal kingdom e.g. peacock, lion, reindeer etc. In us, however, it is the fairer sex that takes away the crown. Beauty, however, tempts all and good looking men are seen as good looking by women too. Sadly, however, they are few and far between. Women, therefore, have to be contented with their second instinct i.e. men who make them feel like princesses. As if knowing this, an average Joe bends over backwards to be nice to her. 

It's not only that, men and women differ even in the crimes they do. Interestingly almost as predicted, men would be jailed for murder, rape or sexual assault, women would be for larceny, theft , fraud or drug possession. As if to give a touch of endlessness, this book narrates 45 differences between the sexes. In fact, the whole book is dedicated to that fact.  
 

In TV discussions women accuse men of not controlling their gaze and looking at them with desire. For equality's sake, if they only advised women to lower their gaze from their respective tempters too! A difficult task for both indeed.  

But then, if both sexes were to fully suppress their desires, it would be interesting to know what the world would look like! 
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